FOR ALL THE CRAZY OBSESSIVE WORRIERS: FREE YOUR CREATIVE IMAGINATION TO WORK FOR YOU, NOT AGAINST YOU!

GUEST POST WRITTEN BY DENISE-DUFFIELD THOMAS

You can read the original post here

"Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it gets you nowhere" -- Glenn Turner

The beauty of being a creative person, is that you have new ideas all day long - the plot for a new book while you're in the shower, the solution to world peace while you're sitting on the loo, or 1001 ways to cook a gourmet meal from the left-over food in your fridge.

The downside of being creative is that you generally open your mind to unnecessary worry because you can imagine more possibilities than anyone else.

An idle creative mind can turn against you in the most sabotaging ways; it can lead to indecisiveness, chronic procrastination or worse - getting stressed and crazy with worry about all the possible outcomes. If you don't have a satisfying creative outlet, your mind can fill with negative and self-defeating thoughts.

ARE YOU TURNING YOUR CREATIVE IMAGINATION AGAINST YOU?

Here is an example:

When I'm in an occasional self destructive mood and I'm procrastinating over a creative projects, I start to worry about my marriage and what our divorce will look like.

I get really angry over the hypothetical fights we'd have over our (largely hypothetical) assets and the custody battles over our (as yet hypothetical) children. Crazy right? We've not even been married two years yet I let myself obsess over the demise of our relationship (and it's GREAT by the way).

Does anyone else have similar thoughts?

It might be about your health, your family or your finances. But the result is the same. Thoughts like this can be very damaging to your natural spark and potential.

The teachings of the Law of Attraction tell us that we will attract what we think about the most. This can be a double edged sword for creative people, so we have to be very careful about our thoughts. 

I love coaching people, but this is a very common block

What if I get really successful and then I can't handle it, and then all my friends hate me because I'm so rich and I'll feel really guilty and then I'll get a stalker who'll try and kidnap my children and basically my life will be ruined.

Can you relate?

Just... breathe...

There is nothing wrong with you. It's a blessing to be that creative! You can definitely use this to your advantage but without the melodrama and anxiety sweats.

When you find yourself going a bit craaazy, turn it in to a great learning experience. Here's a simple creative exercise you can do to trick your mind and take control of your obsessing. 

THE CRAZY CAT LADY EXERCISE

Say for example, you worry about becoming a crazy cat lady, all alone in your house because you completely wasted your potential. No money, no friends and your looks are long gone. Got it?

Go in to your vivid imagination and pretend you have time travelled into the future and you're sitting down with that crazy-cat lady version of yourself. Really get in to the details and use all of your senses - what does the cat pee-stained couch smell like? What is she wearing? Feel the texture of the cat's fur who comes to sit on your lap. 

When you're totally in the dream, take her gnarled old-lady hands and ask her:

+ How could I avoid this happening in my life?

+ What mistakes did you make?

+ What can I learn from this?

+ What would you do differently?

+ At what point did things go wrong for you?

+ What is the one regret of your life?

+ What advice do you have for me?

Can you see how this would calm that mind of yours and make it a totally fun exercise?

It means that you can learn the lesson without actually attracting those circumstances in to your life. You do not need to be poor in this life-time. You do not need to have bad things happen to you. 

10 TIPS TO STOP OBSESSIVE WORRYING

1. GO FOR A WALK OR DO SOME EXERCISE: The positive endorphins generated during exercise make it virtually impossible to be angry, so use that time to come up with some ideas that make you happy. 

2. SNAP OUT OF IT: Wear a rubber band around your wrist and if you feel yourself sliding into negative thoughts, snap yourself with the rubber band - it is a great habit breaker.

3. EXPLORE THE FEELINGS FURTHER: Be honest with what's bothering you. Are you worried about your marriage? Do you need a different job? Is it time to sort out your finances?

4. ASK YOURSELF - WHAT AM I PROCRASTINATING?: Are you letting yourself worry over something trivial because you're avoiding living your life? What are you trying to avoid?

5. DE-CLUTTER YOUR LIFE: Obsessive worrying is mental clutter, but there's a clear link to physical clutter too. So go through your wardrobe, clean your desk and do that filing. You will feel so much better.

6. DO A DREAM BOARD: A daily reminder of your goals and dreams can help you focus on what you really want and avoid attracting more of what you don't. Learn how to make one here.

7. TAKE ACTION TODAY TOWARDS YOUR DREAM: Write one blog post, take one photo or write one proposal. You can make a great living through your passions, but you have to make a step towards it. The Universe always rewards action.

8. MEDITATION: Spending even just a few minutes a day in stillness will quieten your chattering monkey mind and give you some space to really create what you want.

9. GRATITUDE: Your life is already so blessed, so by focusing on what you already have, you will b less inclined to obsess about what you don't. Remember - thoughts are things!

10. BOOK A SESSION WITH A LIFE COACH: Sometimes you can't do it alone. I've got the perfect 1:1 coaching programme for creative people who are stuck and want to move in to a new level in their life. Find out more.

NOW, TURN THAT IMAGINATION IN TO GOLD

You're obviously creative, and have got a fantastic imagination. So, why not use that creative energy for good?

Grab your journal and write a list of at least ten different creative projects that you can start. Such as;

+ Writing a book (a really trashy romantic one if you think your relationship is constantly going sour)

+ Starting a blog

+ Taking up a new creative hobby like painting or a knitting group

+ Joining a book club

+ Finding a volunteer gardening circle

+ Offering to host an exhibition at a local disused space

+ Starting a new creative business, selling something on Etsy or Smashwords

The busier you are using your creative talents, the less time you'll spend obsessing over pointless scenarios.

Love your life and give yourself permission to be creative. Imagine what you can do with all that imagination and energy?!

Tell me in the comments - what's the things you obsess about the most? What are you going to do about it TODAY?

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Denise is a life coach, and author of Lucky Bitch: a guide for exceptional women to create outrageous success.  

Check out her free manifesting guide at www.deniseduffieldthomas.com You can also connect with Denise on Facebook and Twitter.

WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER: THE POWER OF TRUE CONNECTION

Lately, I have been doing a lot of yoga. I get myself to class once or twice a week and I also practice at home. I have been dabbling in and out of yoga since I was 18. But something has just been pulling me to this beautiful practice lately. It has been calling at me to get myself there. To lay still and simply listen. There is definitely something larger than me right now that knows I need it. 

I love my teacher. At the start and end of my class she always shares some wise words, an inspirational message or some beautiful insights. I have found that in each class, her words have resonated with me,  so deeply. It is as if I am being told exactly what I need to hear.

My most recent class was no different. As I lay there in savasana, her words washed over me. She finished the class with this simple message...

"We are all one. We are all in this together"

So simple. Yet so profound.

+ We are all one -- We are all the same. We are all made of the same stuff. Whether we believe it or not, we all go through similar challenges, similar joys and similar experiences. We are not as different as we may think we are.

+ We are all in this together -- This journey. This life. This process. We are all here, just doing the best we can. We all want the same thing. Happiness. Peace. Love. Fulfilment. We are all on the path just trying to carve out a life that makes our heart sing.

Unfortunately, as a society, I think we have forgotten and completely lost touch with this simple truth.

OUR SOCIETY OF SEPARATENESS

I felt deeply inspired to expand on this teaching in a blog post because I think it is a huge one.

We live in a world where there is a lot of separateness, disconnect and competition. There is war, fighting and hatred. There is racism, sexism and terrorism. There is so much you against me, and us against them. 

In the workplace, we compete against each other for promotions and pay rises. Our schools breed rivalry as we work and struggle to be better than our peers.  Or politicians fight against each other for right and wrong. As women, we judge and evaluate our fellow sisters so that we can feel superior. On the roads we cut in, cut off and zig zag through traffic in the effort to get ahead of another.

All you have to do is listen to the news and you will hear stories of people against people. You against me. Us against them.

We have been taught to be so focused on ourselves. Our wants. Our desires. Our need to be better, faster, stronger, more successful etc. We have forgotten the most beautiful and powerful truth of why we are really here.

We are here to connect. We are here to love. We are here to serve. We are here to let go of all the crap that we think makes us different, and remember that we are all one. We are all the same.

CREATING CONNECTEDNESS

Creating true connection, starts with each of us as individuals. As we each change ourselves, who we are being, and how we are thinking, gradually the whole world will begin to change. It all starts with us. All great change, starts within us.

+ CONNECT WITH YOURSELF
To truly connect with another being, we first have to master the ability to connect with ourselves. I believe this is the first step.

Someone who does not know who they are, and does not feel secure in themselves, is much more likely to want to make others feel smaller in an attempt to make themselves feel bigger. This comes from a place of insecurity, separateness and fear. However, someone who is deeply connected with a strong sense of self and feels confident and certain about themselves, will feel comfortable to lift others up and see them become their best.

Take some time to really get to know yourself. Get familiar with your good and bad, your positives and negatives, your strengths and weaknesses. Through getting to know yourself you will see that we are actually not that different from each other. When you are comfortable with your own flaws, you will be less critical and aware of the apparent flaws in others.

+ BE VULNERABLE 

You cannot truly connect with another human being unless you are willing to be vulnerable. When we allow other people to see who we really are, good and bad, it tears down the walls that separate us. 

Anytime we are living in a false sense of self, protecting ourselves with distance and superiority, we make it impossible for anyone to get close to us. We must be willing to be raw, real, authentic with warts and all exposed. Doing this removes competition. It eliminates you vs. me. It creates a space of truth and oneness and allows two people to see each other for who they really are.

+REFRAIN FROM JUDGEMENT 

"Don't judge a man until you've walked two moons in his moccasins" -- Sharon Creech. 

How often do you judge another person? Label their actions as good or bad? Pass an opinion on who they are or what they have done? By doing this you are separating yourself and trying to give off the false impression that you are perfect. 

When you remember that we are all one, and we are all in this together, then the need to judge another falls away. We can empathise and understand that the other person is just doing the best they can. When we can acknowledge that we too, have made mistakes and done things we are not proud of, we can let other people off the hook when they do it too.

+ SERVE 

There is no better way to connect with another person, than being of service. To do this you have to get over yourself and make someone else's needs a priority. When you are of service, what you want for yourself does not matter. You are simply there to support and enable another person to get what they need. Being of service is simply about helping another. 

To do this you must be humble, generous, loving and kind. It may be as simple as listening to a friend when they are in need, letting someone else take a seat on the bus, doing a favour, lending a helping hand, volunteering your time, giving away something you own. 

Whatever it is, it is not about you. You have no hidden agenda. You are not afraid about anyone else becoming better than you, or getting more than you. You simply know that you are equal with this person, and that by serving them, you are in essence serving yourself.

CURIOSITY: THE PERFECT ANTIDOTE TO FEAR

GUEST POST:  WRITTEN BY BRIDGET THOMPSON

Read the original post here

"The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity" -- Ellen Parr

"Replacing judgement with curiosity is a key element in becoming unstuck" -- Francie White

CURIOSITY IS...

+ A state in which you want to learn more about something

+ An emotion related to inquisitive behaviour

+ The tendency to ask questions, investigate or explore

+ The desire to know what is happening or has happened

It is the 'cure' for boredom, as in the quote above. It is also a cure for anxiety, "stuck"-ness and feeling overwhelmed. It focuses attention on the subject of the curiosity.

When we are anxious about the unknown, it is useful to focus our attention on what we do know. We can do this using curiosity.

CURIOSITY CAN SOOTHE FEAR

Shifting in to a curious state has the effect of pulling apart the elements that contribute to anxiety or "stuck"-ness or feelings of overwhelm, thereby reducing those emotions.

Fear and curiosity cannot exist together. Curiosity is absent when we are overwhelmed with anxiety or fear. Conversely, when we engage our inquisitive nature, fear rarely comes up.

Our natural curiosity comes out when we encounter something of interest to us.

It can be challenging to tap back in to curiosity periodically when some thing is familiar to us eg: a person, a place, a feeling etc. We may assume we know everything about this thing/person/emotions, so we miss out on discovering completely new elements and perspectives on that thing/person/emotion.

There is always more to discover.

If we stay OPEN, CURIOUS, UNASSUMING, everything in life that may feel boring or dull can become completely NEW and WONDROUS again.

Shift back over to that place of not knowing; of pure curiosity. Inquisition.

HOW TO HARNESS CURIOSITY TO OVERCOME FEAR

+ BE LIKE A CHILD

Consider a child.

They constantly ask questions, unashamedly seek answers. They don't know a lot and are not afraid to admit that. Consequently their world remains EXCITING, STIMULATING and FASCINATING. They do not get caught up in FEARS. Instead, they are always CURIOUS.

Sometimes we are ambivalent about making the changes we know will serve us, and so we get stuck.

Often we do not know what keeps us stuck. Change can slowly emerge only when we choose to actually look at the different elements of our fear or our ambivalence.

Exactly WHAT IS IT we are afraid of? Explore. Be curious.

We do not need to worry about "fixing" or "making better". Just explore what is lurking there.

+ ACCEPT WHAT IS

Curiosity can also have the effect of encouraging acceptance of what is.

A great way to change behaviours that we find problematic is to accept the behaviour and, with open curiosity, observe it to learn what drives, triggers and reasons are behind it.

+ ASK THE RIGHT QUESTIONS

We can adjust our self talk, thoughts and language to encourage curiosity.

In areas we feel rigidly stuck in terms of our perspective, we can try reframing the situation.

For example

+ "I wonder..."

+ "Imagine..."

+ "Hmm, that makes me curious about.."

+ "Can I explore this more?"

Change is least likely to happen when someone is feeling judged or is judging themselves.

"Why" questions are usually heard as a judgement. Even when our questions come from genuine curiosity, sub consciously we still feel these as judgement. We when re-word our questions to "How..." and "What..." questions, our curiosity is elicited

Practice your curiosity today and observe the difference it makes.

Curiosity is free of JUDGEMENT, FEAR and ANXIETY

Curiosity is purely OPEN, INNOCENT and GENUINELY interested

It will truly change the everyday experience of your life, yourself, others and situations.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Bridget is an accredited practicing dietitian (APD) with a special interest and passion for transforming lives. Having being an overweight and bullied child herself, Bridget understands only too well how excess weight can impact on the quality of a person’s life. 


Read more from Bridget on her New Leaf Nutrition website and blog. Or connect on Facebook and Twitter. 

THE EXISTENTIAL CRISIS

Wikipedia defines an Existential Crisis as "a stage of development at which an individual questions the very foundations of their life: whether their life has any meaning, purpose or value" Such a crisis is said to be triggered by a significant event in a persons life. This causes you begin to question your existence and what role you want to play in this world.

Almost exactly one year ago I moved to a new city and embarked on a new journey. I decided that it was time to finally get to know myself and get to the bottom of this thing called life. I wanted to know my purpose, I wanted to know what was real. I felt disillusioned by the world. Everything felt confusing and scary. I was 20-something and totally lost.

So, I began my search. I needed to find something somewhere that felt real and stable. I needed to find something in my life that held some type of meaning. I always knew I wanted to contribute something big to the world, but what was it? Would I ever find that thing that I truly loved to do in life? What were my passions? What were my natural talents? Who was I, really?

Wikipedia further states "existentialism posits that a person can and does define the meaning and purpose of their life, and therefore must choose to resolve the crisis of existence."

For the past year I have been trying to 'resolve the crisis of existence.' I have meditated, and I have prayed. I have been on cleansing diets. I have read books. I have spoken to angels.I have cried out for help. I have seen therapists. I have journaled and done yoga. I have painted and danced. I have gone to workshops, seminars, classes and been in search of teachers in whatever form they may come in. I have opened my heart, lived with gratitude, shown unconditional love, and connected with my spiritual essence. I feel like all I have been doing for the past year is beg for answers, and now at last I feel like I am beginning to find them.

Deep down I knew all along that the answers were always inside of me. It was just a matter of getting quiet and not letting the fear deter me from peeling back the layers to find them.

So, here I am now. One year later. On the outside not much has changed. But on the inside a lot has.

My problem has been that during this dark and challenging time, my usual preoccupation with the distractions of the outside world seemed to fade. I was no longer drawn to wear the latest clothes and look my best so that others would approve of me. I stopped bothering to achieve lofty goals so I could gloat to others of my achievements. I ate for nourishment and comfort which contrasted to my normal need to be on a calorie constricted diet to ensure I felt skinny. My high heels were substituted for thongs. I quit my gym membership. I got rid of quite a few possessions. I lost interest in the dating scene and the need to again attention from the opposite sex purely to ensure I felt good about myself. My one and only intention has been to sort out what the hell is going on inside of me. Basically I have just been trying to survive.

So, suddenly I feel as if I have awoken from a long sleep. I have stepped out from the depths of my inner journey to find that the outside me has kind of 'let herself go' so to speak. I wouldn't say that I have lost total touch with reality. I am not looking completely tragic and I am still shaving my legs, but it seemed for a while there that a lot of those outer things that used to really matter, didn't really matter at all.

Equipped with my new found inner strength and clarity, I am ready to now begin working on the stuff around me. Over the past year things like my bank balance, my career, my physical body, my worldly goals and my relationships seemed to come second to my journey of self discovery. But now, I feel the need to once again make them a priority. I am back.

Top of the list is; join up to a new gym (with plenty of yoga classes), pay off my credit card and resume my usual savings plan, begin paying more attention to what is going in my mouth and eat more for health rather than comfort, get out and about and meet new people, kick start my new career by commencing my life coach training in the next few months, and do pretty much anything new that is out of my comfort zone.

While my crisis is far from resolved. It feels good to feel excited about life again. My inner journey pulled me down in to the depths of who I really was. I am now a stronger, clearer and more energised than ever to ensure my outer world results are a clear reflection of my inner world transformation.