22 May 2012


I am continuously being contacted by people who want to know how to change their life. People often ask me "how do I begin to change?" or "where do I start?" or "what is one of the first things I can do?

My response to these beautiful seekers, is generally quite long winded and detailed. How do I possibly sum up the process for life transformation in a few paragraphs! There is no single solution to this question. There is no quick fix. At the end of the day, there is really only one answer. If you are genuinely wanting to change your life, then you have to do the work.

Do the work. 

I recently caught up with a darling friend, Vienda Maria, and we spent quite bit of time sitting on a grassy hill at Bondi Beach gazing over the water, and chatting about how it is exactly that we have changed our lives. Both of us admitted that we had gone through quite a process of transformation over the past few years. And while we had each taken our own journey and unique path to get there, we had one common factor. We did the work


The work is not about making things happen, taking excessive action and bulldozing over all of your fears. The work is an inward journey.

It is about clearing out all of the crap that stands between where you are and where you want to be. The inner crap. The limiting beliefs. The unsupportive stories. The disempowering self talk. The self-destructive habits. The fear. The doubt. 

It is not about labelling these aspects of your self as bad and doing your best to get rid of any of them. Quite the opposite. It is about embracing them, loving them, and releasing them. Forgive yourself for holding on to them for so long, and then let them go.

The work is unique to each individual. It is intimate and personal. It is precious and beautiful. It is purposeful and meaningful. There are lessons to be learned. Truths to be remembered. This journey is about discovering who you really are and letting go of anything else that is not that

I can not give you the answer to your problems, and I can not tell you the solutions. I can not tell you what your outcome will look like or give you a map of how to get there. Only you can find that. Only you will know that. The answers are inside of you. No where else.


So, my answer to people who want to know where to start is know thyself. Turn inwards. Reflect. Find out who you are. Do the work to peel back the layers of bulls**t you have been telling yourself over the years, and discover your true potential. 

I have used many different practices over the past few years, which have facilitated my peeling back of the layers of false illusions so that I could discover my truth, connect with my heart, and live out my passions. 

I have meditated, received life coaching, attended buddhism retreats, seen energetic healers, read book, after book after book. I have practiced affirmations, spent thousands of dollars attending personal development programs, seen psychics, practiced EFT and reiki. I have done physical cleanses, practiced yoga, attended workshops, applied NLP, prayed, begged and surrendered.

Through this whole time, there has been one practice that has been a consistent and ongoing practice through my journey.

I have journaled

I began journalling when I was about 12. I used to write in a little floral diary with a small gold lock. I used this diary to attempt to process the teenage angst I experiencing. As I matured, so did my writing. From around the age of 18 my journal became my crutch, my lifesaver, my support. It was the one thing I would turn to whenever I was experiencing challenges. 

As I have travelled along my journey of releasing all my limitations and discovering my truth, journalling has enabled me to document my transformation. During this time, it allowed me to create clarity, to self-reflect, to process my emotions, to make sense of my thoughts, and to reconnect with that loving and supportive voice inside of me.


Journalling is a beautiful practice that you can take on to get you started on doing the work. There are numerous ways that you can journal. I used to only be able to write on blank paper with felt tip pens. Now I actually prefer to journal on the computer, but if I do write on paper I tend to prefer a lined notebook with a hb pencil. 

If you are new to journalling, try to set aside a time each day where you will write. It might be first thing in the morning, or just before bed. It will help you to integrate this new practice as a habit.

To help you on your journalling path, here are 5 different ways that you can use journalling to support your transformation, and help you reconnect with your truth

Setting Your Intentions Journalling
WHEN TO USE: When you wanting to live as a creator and intentionally set your energy for the day by consciously deciding who you are going to be.
HOW TO USE: At the start of your day, write out your intentions. For example: Today I intend to be calm and productive. Today I intend to eat foods that nourish my body. Today I intend to be loving and kind to all people I meet. Then throughout the day, check in and assess how you are going with living in line with these. This is a powerful way to empower yourself to create your life as you want it to be.

Gratitude Journalling
WHEN TO USE: When you are feeling flat, low, unhappy or when you are finding yourself focusing on all the things you do not like or want.
HOW TO USE: When this happens, stop, pull out your journal and begin to write a list of all the things you are grateful for and appreciative of in your life. You will be amazed how blessed you will begin to feel. As you begin to shift your focus from what is lacking to what amazing things you already have, you will be blown away by what you start to attract.

Self-Healing Journalling
WHEN TO USE: When you are in a period of confusion, needing guidance or support, needing clarity, or wanting to emotionally process some stuff.
HOW TO USE: Sit down with your pen and paper and just start to write. You do not need to have a plan of what you are writing. Just free-write. Do not stop to think, or re-read what you have written. Just allow it all to pour out without any judgement. Only stop once you find that you are starting to feel better. This process will help uncover what is going on in your unconscious mind, and will allow you to express and acknowledge your thoughts and feelings.

Acknowledging Yourself Journalling
WHEN TO USE: When you are working towards a goal and you feel as though you aren't making progress. When you want to acknowledge yourself for what you have achieved.
HOW TO USE: Every day before you go to bed, sit down with your journal and write out everything you did that took you one step closer to your goal, and then acknowledge yourself. So often we do not stop to celebrate our small success. You may have made one phone call to a potential client, completed your morning exercise, meditated for 10 minutes, written that important email, followed your eating plan, or spent 30 minutes working on your business plan. Small steps add up over time, and recognising your daily actions will do wonders for your confidence and self-belief.

Vision Journalling
WHEN TO USE: When you know you want to create something new, yet you do not have much clarity around it yet. When you want to create a vision for your end result, and when you need some inspiration.
HOW TO USE:  Use your imagination to start dreaming up the most amazing vision of your life that you can. Think in colourful detail without any limitations. Write it as you want it to be. Describe every aspect of your dream - what it will look like, feel like, smell like. Write out a typical day in your dream life. Fantasise and visualise. Dream your biggest dreams and write them out in intricate detail. This practice enables you to connect with your dream and as soon as you can really feel it,  you are already half way towards achieving it.


  1. How on Earth are there no comments on this post.
    Connie, this is glorious. You always go into so much generous detail. I admire your transformation and we really do have so much in common.

  2. Hi, I commented on another of your posts, but really I just keep reading your stuff and I like it more and more...I've only just started blogging but once I get more the hang of it, Id love you to be a guest blogger :)
    xxx, Tatiana

  3. I really needed this today! :)

  4. You're amazing. For a long time I've been thinking negatively about myself, my life. I told myself that I'd make a difference, that I'd do more of what I love, practice being happy... but I never got around to it. You've inspired me to start today. Bless you.

  5. This post is great and amazing. I am very much inspire with this for the reason that I've always feel negative vibes and thinking negative thoughts that might happen to my life. Sometimes my friends call me "nega" because I always tell "what ifs" every situation I need to face. It is exactly what I am needed. Keep inspiring others.

    life coach for women



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