29 February 2012


Lately, I have been changing the way that I have been thinking. I have been choosing to be more positive, more at peace with my current surroundings, more grateful for what I have, and more optimistic about the awesome, kick-ass stuff that is on it's way to me. And not surprisingly, I have suddenly noticed the outside circumstances of my life slowly but surely starting to change. Things have just began showing up. Almost magically, the situations I previously felt stuck in have started to move and shift. 

Funny that. 

As a life coach, I believe that our thoughts, our mindset, our beliefs and how we see the world, are pivotal in creating the results that we get in our life. I believe that very first step in making any form of change externally, begins with changing your mind. 

In saying that, I must be completely honest with you. I am not perfect. By any means. And although I have been studying personal development for years, and I have a huge wealth of knowledge about human behaviour, Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the power  that our thoughts have in creating our life, I still sometimes find myself in a downward spiral of negative thinking. This is all part of being human.


You see, sometimes I have a tendency to go a little unconscious. We all do. We allow our mind to run on auto-pilot. We become reactive (meaning that we just go through life responding to whatever arises with a knee jerk type reaction to it) rather than proactive. When we are unconscious, we are not choosing our thoughts. In fact, it almost feels as if they are happening to us. Our mind races from thought to thought and spins out of control without any conscious control from us.

Without the conscious action of choosing thoughts that are supportive, positive and empowering, our mind can easily get caught in a downward spiral of unconstructive thinking. An undisciplined mind  can be lured in to thoughts that are negative, self-sabotaging, critical or fearful.

Consequently, the results that show up in our lives tend to reflect this. The more that we think about a problem, the more we attract more similar experiences. Plus, the more we focus on where we are, rather than where we want to be, the less likely things are to change, and the more stuck we are likely to feel.

So, how do we break this? We must start to choose how we want to think. And we must choose our thoughts, based on the results we want to get.


We must start by employing some law of attraction thinking. What do I mean by this? Well, we must remember, that every thought is like a little magnet. And it will draw to it energy that is similar. So, when you think a negative thought, you give off a negative vibe, and you attract negative experiences. And vice versa with positive thoughts.

When you keep this in mind, you realise the importance of choosing to think positively, so that you can start to create some more positive experiences. As I mentioned, I like to call this law of attraction thinking, and here is my own creative definition of it. 

It involves;

Deliberately thinking in ways that will draw more of what you do want to you, and cause you to experience less of what you do not want. This involves, making a conscious decision about how you are going to think, what you are going to think about and what you are going to focus on. In turn, you will  start to change the results you are getting, and find that more of what you do like and do want is drawn in to your life experience.

Sounds wonderful doesn't it?

This can be your everyday experience. You can have wonderful things being drawn to you, simply by changing your thoughts and the energy you are giving off. I have been experiencing this first hand, and I can tell you, it is nothing short of magical.



Often, when we have an area of our life that we a not happy with, we try and do our very best to fix it. We are convinced that if we could change what is happening outside of us, we will feel happier on the inside.

Unfortunately, that it not how it works.

What we need to do instead, is stop. Just for a moment. And listen. We need to stop trying to fix things by doing, and realise that where we need to start is with our thinking.

Start making your mindset a priority, rather than your action. Start thinking more about who you are being and less about what you are doing. Explore how you can start thinking differently today, and what new types of thoughts you need to choose in order to create the results you want. Then, once your mind is focused in the right way, you will be amazing how the external results start to follow. 


Feeling good right now, even before anything outside of you has changed, is the number one way to harness the law of attractions magical powers. The law of attraction responds to your thoughts, and the energy you give off. You cannot possibly expect good things to come along, if you are constantly giving off a negative vibe, or thinking in negative ways about a situation you want to change.

I know it may seem hard at first, but you have to find ways to get happy first. You have to be happy with what you have and where you are. Tools such as gratitude and appreciation really help with this. Anytime you are feeling low, think about something you really love, adore, enjoy or are grateful for. Uncover the things that brings you joy or why not try writing a love list. Spend some time pondering the feelings that arise, and you will be amazed how your energy starts to shift.


As I have mentioned previously, the law of attraction is responding to what you are thinking. So, the more that you think about your current situation, feel stuck, focus on all the details of it, and give it all of your attention, you are just going to continue to get more of the same. 

You have to start to use your creative imagination to dream up the new life you want for yourself. Visualise, make a dream board, write out your goals and stick them up in front of you, imagine what your future life will be like, even though it is not here yet. You have to give attention, energy and focus to the details of the future you are creating, so that the law of attraction can then respond and bring you matching experiences. 

I love this quote from Abraham which sums up this principle perfectly...

"The key to bringing yourself to a new place is to see yourself differently from the way you are. It is necessary for you to focus on the person you are becoming and distract yourself from the current situation. For as long as you are, you are contradicting the vibration of who you want to be. You cannot create a new reality, while looking at your current reality" -- Teachings of Abraham


The number one thing that will stop your dreams from manifesting is your inner blocks. You can do as much focusing, visualising, journalling and dream-boarding as you want, but unless you get rid of your inner blocks they will stop what you want from coming to you.

So, what is an inner block? It is a negative thought that opposes your desire. It may come in the form of doubt, fear, not feeling worthy or deserving, impatience, stress, jealousy or anything else that does not feel good. These thoughts block our happiness and take away from our ability to feel good now.

It is your job to do the inner work to clean this up. Do not allow these negative thoughts and emotions to sabotage what you want from coming to you. You need to get yourself to a place where you believe 100% that your dream is on it's way. You have to feel worthy of the magnificence of it, and know that you deserve it. You have to feel relaxed, expectant and patient. 

It is only once there are no inner, negative blocks sabotaging your dreams, that the Universe will be able to deliver them to you. When you start feeling good first, and spend time getting excited about the awesome stuff that is coming to you, the wonderful law of attraction cannot help but bring you exactly what you want.


  1. I love this topic and have had personal experiences with it as well. I read quite a bit though about detaching being part of the process too. It's difficult to detach from something you really want though. What are you thoughts and experiences with detaching?

  2. Aprildawn, I agree with you. I have read a lot about the 'letting go' aspect of it. My understanding is, that being attached to your outcome, comes from a place of 'needing' something, as well as the desire to 'control' the outcome and have it happen on 'your' time and how you want it to. When you are attached you are often desperately wanting this thing to happen, and you are giving off a strong vibe that says 'things are not ok as they are. i need something to change' or 'i desperately need this outcome so i can be happy'

    However, when you are detached, your energy is more open, receptive, light hearted and you are therefore more able to attract positivity. You are giving off a vibe that says 'everything is ok just as it is, but I know other good stuff is on it's way to me'. You are more expectant, and you are not putting any pressure on whether this thing needs to manifest or not, because you are already happy!

    I feel that being attached has a lower and more negative energy than detachment.

    Hope that helps a bit! Thanks for your comment xx

  3. This post really resonated with me. I have noticed my thinking of late being quite negative and in turn I have been feeling lethargic and a bit hopeless. Today I will be proactive in watching my thoughts and paying attention to them. Thanks Connie!! x

  4. Hey anon, thanks for your comment! We all have our moments where we fall in to negative thinking. The first step is to simply become conscious that this is happening, and then we are empowered to start to change it. A good way to notice if you are thinking positively or negatively is to notice how you feel during the day. If you are feeling flat, low, or depressed it is likely you have been thinking negative thoughts. Alternatively, thinking positive thoughts always makes you feel light, happy and good. Try simply paying attention to how youre feeling during the day, and try to become aware of the thought patterns that are creating these emotions!

    Good luck xx

  5. Great post, Connie! And great image (created my moi!).

    Love the section about getting rid of the 'inner block'. It is truly amazing what can be achieved/realised by using the Law of Attraction.

    In the lead up to the birth of my second son in December, I jumped on the 'visualisation train' big time! I had an amazing birth experience and believe 100% that it was brought about by my strong visualisation. I looked back at my journal a few weeks ago and re-read my detailed description of exactly how the birth was going to go. I'd written that my baby would be born at 3:22pm... he was born at 3:20pm! Previously I would have put this down to amazing coincidence but not now. There's no such thing as far as I'm concerned!

    Vari x

  6. Great post. It's so true that positive thinking can lead to positive outcomes. I find that when I'm dwelling on all that's going wrong, even more negativity seems to come my way. It may not *actually* be the case that bad things happen because you're thinking negatively; it's just that you notice them more and perceive things differently. When I'm in a positive frame of mind, I'm able to open myself up to the wonder all around me and I start noticing what's going right.

  7. Vari - didn't realise you created that image. Wow! I love it.

    It is so beautiful that you were able to apply these principles to the birth of your son. I love hearing people's experiences of what happens when you consciously apply deliberate thinking and use tools such as visualisation. I am really inspired to hear that the energy and intention you set forth created such amazing results! Thank you for sharing this wonderful story! xx

    Rebecca - You are so spot on. We filter the world based on our perceptions. Just because we perceive the world that way, does not actually mean it is that way. We have a part of our brain called the Reticular Activating System that actually seeks out experiences in the external world to match what we are focusing on. So, like you said, our brain is now noticing these negative things more because that is where we are putting our attention. And once we shift to a more positive mindset, our perceptions shift and we start noticing the positives again. Thank you for that beautiful distinction xx



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