25 September 2010


I have always strived for perfection in life. This is because, for a long time I lived with the misunderstanding that perfection would lead to happiness.

Up until recently, I spent many years trying to get rid of what was wrong with me and my life in the hope that I would finally be perfect, and therefore happy.

Whenever something bad happened I immediately thought something was wrong. When something negative happened I would search through my mind for the mistake I must have made which created this. I would then add to the problem by blaming and beating up on myself for not being perfect and wonder what the hell what wrong with me!

The real problem
It took me a few years of this before I realised what the real problem was. It was not that I was making mistakes or doing something wrong but rather...

  • the fact that I was actually labelling these events as bad, wrong or negative in the first place, and;
  • the fact that rather than embracing these negative things, I was instead rejecting them.
Things are not inherently wrong or bad until you say they are. It is you that decides whether something is positive or negative. It is you that decides if being sacked in your job is a blessing or a disaster. It is you who decides whether your body and the way that you look is good or bad. It is you who decides if being dumped by your partner is the end of the world, or an exciting opportunity for something new. You choose what meaning you associate to each event, and you therefore have a choice whether you see it as good or bad!

A happy life is not about labelling things as good or bad and then doing your best to eliminate the bad things. Rather happiness come from being able to embrace every experience as a learning opportunity and having the ability to seek out the lesson, see the hidden blessing, find the opportunity or discover the positive in everything that comes your way.

The purpose of life
Your ability to see the hidden blessings and opportunities and to find hope and optimism in even the most challenging times, is directly effected by how you choose to see this thing called life and what you believe the purpose of this whole thing is.

The purpose of life is not to become perfect or god like, nor is it to create a perfect world. The purpose of life is to grow, learn, evolve and expand. We are here to create the greatest version of ourselves that we can dream. Life is about our never ending learning journey, it is not about reaching an end destination. It is not just about getting there, but rather it is about enjoying yourself along the way.

The Soul's perspective
If you can take a bigger picture view of life, and see this experience as being one that you soul deliberately chose for you so that you could grow and learn, you will be able to experience so much more peace, joy and fulfillment.

The soul does not see anything as bad or wrong. These things that we label as negative, are things that the soul sees as amazing opportunities to learn and grow. Sure, they may challenge us, but since when is challenge a bad thing?

What if we could see bad things from the perspective of the soul - rather than complaining about them and wishing they had not happened, we could embrace them and be grateful for them. Choose to start seeing things in a new way. See challenges as a chance to expand yourself and your mind, as a chance to step out of your comfort zone, and as a chance to try a different approach.

We need to wake up to the fact that perhaps our way is not always the best way. Have you ever listened in to your intuition or gut feelings? Or maybe the voice of your heart came in to guide you but what it said contradicted what your head was telling you? In these instances you are witnessing higher guidance, and you are hearing a whisper from a part of you that knows more than you do. Perhaps our soul has a plan and maybe it is about time we surrendered rather than judging and labelling everything that comes our way.

Find the hidden blessing
You can create a positive happy world by finding the positive things in every experience. Even if something bad happens, find the good in it, find the blessing, find the silver living. Be optimistic and hopeful. Search for the opportunity. If you notice a flaw in your personality, use it as a chance to grow and heal. If you do something in a way that you don't like, aim to do it better next time.

Stop judging and labelling everything, and instead let of your analytical mind and trust that whatever is coming to you, is happening for a reason.

In order to learn and grow you are going to have to make mistakes! You are going to have to discover the not-quite-right way of doing something before you find the right way. Love and embrace this learning journey

What if nothing was bad, just different? What if all the people who bothered us in life were just little teachers helping us to learn unconditional love and acceptance? What if the contrasting things that we saw and felt were just opportunities to help us get even clearer on what we wanted? If we can open our mind and be flexible in our approach to life we will have the ability to see things from a whole new perspective.

The next time something 'bad' happens to you, refrain from making quick judgements or blaming yourself or another. Instead, ask yourself what you could learn from this experience. Everything is happening for your good, and if you can view life from that perspective, you will have a better ability to see the magic, beauty and opportunity that is available in every moment.


  1. I can't remember the exact quote, but the idea has stuck with me: perfectionism only leads to heartache. Perfectionism resists how things are in the present moment.

    Thank you for this beautiful post.

  2. I love the line, "Everything is happening for your good ." If we can keep this in our hearts and minds, we can be filled with gratitude for life - JUST AS IT IS, and people - JUST AS WE ARE. We can EMBRACE. We can LOVE. We can cry tears of GRATITUDE!

    Thanks for the wonderful reminders.

    A soul sister.... ;)

  3. I love it! You make me feel so good at times when I need a guider! You can touch my soul and speak to my mind when I need it! I wish I could have you somewhere in Europe - that would be cool to meet up someday!

    I am still doing my best to accept myself as I am. I think I have already accepted myself but on the other hand I am still starving to be better, slimmer and "me'er". Do you still feel like that?

  4. Thank you ladies for your beautiful comments.




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