FOR ALL THE CRAZY OBSESSIVE WORRIERS: FREE YOUR CREATIVE IMAGINATION TO WORK FOR YOU, NOT AGAINST YOU!

GUEST POST WRITTEN BY DENISE-DUFFIELD THOMAS

You can read the original post here

"Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it gets you nowhere" -- Glenn Turner

The beauty of being a creative person, is that you have new ideas all day long - the plot for a new book while you're in the shower, the solution to world peace while you're sitting on the loo, or 1001 ways to cook a gourmet meal from the left-over food in your fridge.

The downside of being creative is that you generally open your mind to unnecessary worry because you can imagine more possibilities than anyone else.

An idle creative mind can turn against you in the most sabotaging ways; it can lead to indecisiveness, chronic procrastination or worse - getting stressed and crazy with worry about all the possible outcomes. If you don't have a satisfying creative outlet, your mind can fill with negative and self-defeating thoughts.

ARE YOU TURNING YOUR CREATIVE IMAGINATION AGAINST YOU?

Here is an example:

When I'm in an occasional self destructive mood and I'm procrastinating over a creative projects, I start to worry about my marriage and what our divorce will look like.

I get really angry over the hypothetical fights we'd have over our (largely hypothetical) assets and the custody battles over our (as yet hypothetical) children. Crazy right? We've not even been married two years yet I let myself obsess over the demise of our relationship (and it's GREAT by the way).

Does anyone else have similar thoughts?

It might be about your health, your family or your finances. But the result is the same. Thoughts like this can be very damaging to your natural spark and potential.

The teachings of the Law of Attraction tell us that we will attract what we think about the most. This can be a double edged sword for creative people, so we have to be very careful about our thoughts. 

I love coaching people, but this is a very common block

What if I get really successful and then I can't handle it, and then all my friends hate me because I'm so rich and I'll feel really guilty and then I'll get a stalker who'll try and kidnap my children and basically my life will be ruined.

Can you relate?

Just... breathe...

There is nothing wrong with you. It's a blessing to be that creative! You can definitely use this to your advantage but without the melodrama and anxiety sweats.

When you find yourself going a bit craaazy, turn it in to a great learning experience. Here's a simple creative exercise you can do to trick your mind and take control of your obsessing. 

THE CRAZY CAT LADY EXERCISE

Say for example, you worry about becoming a crazy cat lady, all alone in your house because you completely wasted your potential. No money, no friends and your looks are long gone. Got it?

Go in to your vivid imagination and pretend you have time travelled into the future and you're sitting down with that crazy-cat lady version of yourself. Really get in to the details and use all of your senses - what does the cat pee-stained couch smell like? What is she wearing? Feel the texture of the cat's fur who comes to sit on your lap. 

When you're totally in the dream, take her gnarled old-lady hands and ask her:

+ How could I avoid this happening in my life?

+ What mistakes did you make?

+ What can I learn from this?

+ What would you do differently?

+ At what point did things go wrong for you?

+ What is the one regret of your life?

+ What advice do you have for me?

Can you see how this would calm that mind of yours and make it a totally fun exercise?

It means that you can learn the lesson without actually attracting those circumstances in to your life. You do not need to be poor in this life-time. You do not need to have bad things happen to you. 

10 TIPS TO STOP OBSESSIVE WORRYING

1. GO FOR A WALK OR DO SOME EXERCISE: The positive endorphins generated during exercise make it virtually impossible to be angry, so use that time to come up with some ideas that make you happy. 

2. SNAP OUT OF IT: Wear a rubber band around your wrist and if you feel yourself sliding into negative thoughts, snap yourself with the rubber band - it is a great habit breaker.

3. EXPLORE THE FEELINGS FURTHER: Be honest with what's bothering you. Are you worried about your marriage? Do you need a different job? Is it time to sort out your finances?

4. ASK YOURSELF - WHAT AM I PROCRASTINATING?: Are you letting yourself worry over something trivial because you're avoiding living your life? What are you trying to avoid?

5. DE-CLUTTER YOUR LIFE: Obsessive worrying is mental clutter, but there's a clear link to physical clutter too. So go through your wardrobe, clean your desk and do that filing. You will feel so much better.

6. DO A DREAM BOARD: A daily reminder of your goals and dreams can help you focus on what you really want and avoid attracting more of what you don't. Learn how to make one here.

7. TAKE ACTION TODAY TOWARDS YOUR DREAM: Write one blog post, take one photo or write one proposal. You can make a great living through your passions, but you have to make a step towards it. The Universe always rewards action.

8. MEDITATION: Spending even just a few minutes a day in stillness will quieten your chattering monkey mind and give you some space to really create what you want.

9. GRATITUDE: Your life is already so blessed, so by focusing on what you already have, you will b less inclined to obsess about what you don't. Remember - thoughts are things!

10. BOOK A SESSION WITH A LIFE COACH: Sometimes you can't do it alone. I've got the perfect 1:1 coaching programme for creative people who are stuck and want to move in to a new level in their life. Find out more.

NOW, TURN THAT IMAGINATION IN TO GOLD

You're obviously creative, and have got a fantastic imagination. So, why not use that creative energy for good?

Grab your journal and write a list of at least ten different creative projects that you can start. Such as;

+ Writing a book (a really trashy romantic one if you think your relationship is constantly going sour)

+ Starting a blog

+ Taking up a new creative hobby like painting or a knitting group

+ Joining a book club

+ Finding a volunteer gardening circle

+ Offering to host an exhibition at a local disused space

+ Starting a new creative business, selling something on Etsy or Smashwords

The busier you are using your creative talents, the less time you'll spend obsessing over pointless scenarios.

Love your life and give yourself permission to be creative. Imagine what you can do with all that imagination and energy?!

Tell me in the comments - what's the things you obsess about the most? What are you going to do about it TODAY?

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Denise is a life coach, and author of Lucky Bitch: a guide for exceptional women to create outrageous success.  

Check out her free manifesting guide at www.deniseduffieldthomas.com You can also connect with Denise on Facebook and Twitter.

PERFECT DAY TIP #4: BE A SPIRIT JUNKIE

Today's Perfect Day Tip is about everyday spirituality. Spirituality for the modern world.

Gone are the days where being spiritual meant retreating in to a cave and meditating for hours on end. More and more people are waking up to the idea of everyday spirituality - bringing spiritual principles in to the moments of your day to day life in the aim of cultivating peace, flow and authenticity.

What feelings/thoughts/images does the word spirituality conjure up for you? What ever it is, let it go! We do not need to define spirituality or box it in to some stereotypical image. Spirituality does also not necessarily have to relate to anything religious either. It is an individual and personal practice that can be adapted and moulded by each individual to meet whatever it is they are needing. 

This is why I love the work of Gabrielle Bernstein. I have referred so many people on to the teachings of this phenomenal lady. She totally demystifies spirituality and breaks it down for the modern day woman (or man) in to manageable practices that can lead to transformational change. 

Integrating spiritual principles simply means shifting your perceptions and learning to see the world in new ways. It is not so much about what you are doing, but who you are being. Through a spiritual practice you can connect with yourself and others in a completely new way, and the way that you view the world shifts. As a result of these mental shifts, you will find that your physical, external world begins to reflect this change back to you and shifts start to occur. This practice is such a beautiful contrast to the standard action-focused way of living. 

MY CORE SPIRITUAL PRINCIPLES

As I mentioned, what being spiritual means to each of us is totally unique and different. But I would like to share some of the core principles that underlay my concept of spirituality. If some of these do not resonate with you, that is fine. This is about finding out what spirituality means to you.

HERE ARE MINE:

+ We have infinite potential. We can be, do or have anything we want. There are no limitations, except for the limitations that we impose upon ourselves.
+ At our core we are love. When we think from a place of fear, we are living in illusion and are not connected to our truth
+ Forgiveness heals all wounds
+ Everything is energy. We are made of energy. The energy that we give off will attract a similar energy. The energy of our thoughts and emotions alters the energy of our body and the outer world.
+ We are all spiritual beings on this planet having a human experience
+ There is a higher part of ourselves that we have access to. This is our inner guidance. It is our intuition. By tuning in and listening, we can receive guidance, messages and learning's

+ We cannot judge, blame or criticise others for things we do not like about them, as they are merely reflecting back at us the things we do not like about ourselves

+ What goes around, comes around. What you give out, you get back

+ Gratitude multiplies. Whatever you are grateful for will expand in your life
+ The world is our mirror. It reflects back to us what we put out. The outer world is a reflection of what is going on inside of us. All the people in our life are mirrors of the light and darkness that exists inside us
+ When live in flow, and we are willing to listen we will be guided to everything we need
+ We are all one. We all made of the same stuff. We are all equal. We are all connected.

+ Our purpose is to remember who we really are and to begin to create a new world around us that is filled with light, connection, love, consciousness, peace and joy
+ The universe is governed by universal laws, and by following these laws we can create a universe around us that is as exactly how we desire

When I live from this place, the world looks different. I experience more magic. Life seems to flow. Little things do not bother me. Peace comes easily. Happiness feels like my natural state.

EXPLORE WHAT SPIRITUALITY MEANS TO YOU

+ BE OPEN AND WILLING: Start by simply becoming curious. Are you holding on tightly to your set of current beliefs about the world, or are you willing to see things in a new way? Start to entertain the idea that perhaps some of the things you have come to know about the world, are not actually true. Start to explore some new concepts and try some new things on. Unless your mind is open, flexible and willing you will not be able to allow anything new in.

+ READ: Start reading new books. Simply walk in to a bookstore with the intention of gaining some new awareness of what spirituality could mean to you, and see what books you are lead too. Seriously, you will be lead. Gabrielle talks about how her first spiritual text, A Course In Miracles, literally fell or the shelf and dragged her to the counter.

+ CONNECT WITH NEW PEOPLE: Over the course of the past 10 years I have dabbled in and out of living and breathing my spiritual practice, but the times where it has been the strongest, is when I have had a community of like minded people around me. It can be intimidating at first to attempt to connect with new types of people and discuss unfamiliar topics. But if this is something you are seeking, it will help so much. Keep your eye out for local community events, meditation or yoga classes, free talks etc or simply connect with like minded peeps on the web!

+ MEDITATE: I have written about the benefits of meditation previously. But I am telling you now it is the number one way to begin to explore spirituality. Through meditation, you will find your self relax. Your mind will slow. You will be able to let go of some of your crazy, fearful thinking and reconnect with your truth. You may also begin to hear the whisper of your intuition which can begin to guide you and lead you. 

+ JOURNAL: The foundations of spirituality, lie in your relationship with yourself. A spiritual connection starts with a connection with yourself. Journalling is a great tool for this! Start by free writing about your thoughts and feelings. Tune your attention inwards and let what is inside you pour out. You may even write a question, and see what answer comes forth. By taking time to connect with yourself you will be able to develop a much greater awareness of the spiritual thread that flows through your life.

So, over to you. I would love for you to share your experiences...
+ What does spirituality mean to you?
+ What are your spiritual practices

CURIOSITY: THE PERFECT ANTIDOTE TO FEAR

GUEST POST:  WRITTEN BY BRIDGET THOMPSON

Read the original post here

"The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity" -- Ellen Parr

"Replacing judgement with curiosity is a key element in becoming unstuck" -- Francie White

CURIOSITY IS...

+ A state in which you want to learn more about something

+ An emotion related to inquisitive behaviour

+ The tendency to ask questions, investigate or explore

+ The desire to know what is happening or has happened

It is the 'cure' for boredom, as in the quote above. It is also a cure for anxiety, "stuck"-ness and feeling overwhelmed. It focuses attention on the subject of the curiosity.

When we are anxious about the unknown, it is useful to focus our attention on what we do know. We can do this using curiosity.

CURIOSITY CAN SOOTHE FEAR

Shifting in to a curious state has the effect of pulling apart the elements that contribute to anxiety or "stuck"-ness or feelings of overwhelm, thereby reducing those emotions.

Fear and curiosity cannot exist together. Curiosity is absent when we are overwhelmed with anxiety or fear. Conversely, when we engage our inquisitive nature, fear rarely comes up.

Our natural curiosity comes out when we encounter something of interest to us.

It can be challenging to tap back in to curiosity periodically when some thing is familiar to us eg: a person, a place, a feeling etc. We may assume we know everything about this thing/person/emotions, so we miss out on discovering completely new elements and perspectives on that thing/person/emotion.

There is always more to discover.

If we stay OPEN, CURIOUS, UNASSUMING, everything in life that may feel boring or dull can become completely NEW and WONDROUS again.

Shift back over to that place of not knowing; of pure curiosity. Inquisition.

HOW TO HARNESS CURIOSITY TO OVERCOME FEAR

+ BE LIKE A CHILD

Consider a child.

They constantly ask questions, unashamedly seek answers. They don't know a lot and are not afraid to admit that. Consequently their world remains EXCITING, STIMULATING and FASCINATING. They do not get caught up in FEARS. Instead, they are always CURIOUS.

Sometimes we are ambivalent about making the changes we know will serve us, and so we get stuck.

Often we do not know what keeps us stuck. Change can slowly emerge only when we choose to actually look at the different elements of our fear or our ambivalence.

Exactly WHAT IS IT we are afraid of? Explore. Be curious.

We do not need to worry about "fixing" or "making better". Just explore what is lurking there.

+ ACCEPT WHAT IS

Curiosity can also have the effect of encouraging acceptance of what is.

A great way to change behaviours that we find problematic is to accept the behaviour and, with open curiosity, observe it to learn what drives, triggers and reasons are behind it.

+ ASK THE RIGHT QUESTIONS

We can adjust our self talk, thoughts and language to encourage curiosity.

In areas we feel rigidly stuck in terms of our perspective, we can try reframing the situation.

For example

+ "I wonder..."

+ "Imagine..."

+ "Hmm, that makes me curious about.."

+ "Can I explore this more?"

Change is least likely to happen when someone is feeling judged or is judging themselves.

"Why" questions are usually heard as a judgement. Even when our questions come from genuine curiosity, sub consciously we still feel these as judgement. We when re-word our questions to "How..." and "What..." questions, our curiosity is elicited

Practice your curiosity today and observe the difference it makes.

Curiosity is free of JUDGEMENT, FEAR and ANXIETY

Curiosity is purely OPEN, INNOCENT and GENUINELY interested

It will truly change the everyday experience of your life, yourself, others and situations.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Bridget is an accredited practicing dietitian (APD) with a special interest and passion for transforming lives. Having being an overweight and bullied child herself, Bridget understands only too well how excess weight can impact on the quality of a person’s life. 


Read more from Bridget on her New Leaf Nutrition website and blog. Or connect on Facebook and Twitter. 

QUIT YOUR FUTURE TRIPPING! : HOW TO LOVE YOUR 'NOW'

With all this new year goal setting flying around, I am finding myself getting caught up in a severe case of future tripping. My mind is completely overwhelmed with all of my future goals, and as a result it is taking me away from simply enjoying this delicious present moment. 

I have a bit of the grass is greener mentality. The grass over there seems so luscious and beautiful and as a result it makes the grass here look totally dull and boring.

Sure, there is nothing wrong with feeling super psyched about all the exciting things you want to manifest this year. However, trouble arises when you find that your future fantasising leads you to feel totally and utterly dissatisfied with where you are now.

This pretty much sums up exactly what is happening to me. Let's see if you can relate....

(above: my new affirmation!!)

MY FUTURE TRIPPING WOES

At the moment I have a day job. I enjoy my job. There is nothing wrong with it. However I do not love my job. The main aim of this job at the moment is to pay the bills so that I can support myself in my transition to start up my own business. Each day after work, I literally rush home so that I can start work on what I am really passionate about. In the evenings after a long day at the office, I do not watch tv or sit on the couch. I work. I write on my blog. I work with coaching clients. I study. I connect with my like minded peeps in the world wide web. I meditate. I read. I brainstorm about my future plans and I design and develop all the exciting components of my dream job. And I love it.

Basically outside of work, I do what I love. And I love it so much that sometimes I cannot sleep. And then, I wake up and I go back to my reality and it feels like a slap in the face. In comparison to where I want to be, where I am now seems totally boring and uninspiring.

So, herein lies my problem. How do we remain happy day in day out with where we are in our lives, while also allowing ourselves to get ridiculously caught up in all the delicious details of our future?

The answer? 

We have to learn to love our NOW, while at the same time being excited about what is coming

LOVE YOUR NOW

This is the trick. You have to find a way to love, enjoy, appreciate and adore everything about where you are now and what you have now, while you wait for all your awesome future stuff to come to you.

This requires a delicate balancing act. It is a balance between...

Appreciating everything you already have + Loving the present moment + Making every day the best it can be 

While also...

Focusing on the end goal you are working towards + Dedicating huge amounts of your physical and mental energy to your future outcome +  Feeling super excited and eager about where you are going

Now you get why it can be challenging, huh!

HOW ON EARTH DO I LOVE MY NOW? (I hear you ask!)

I want to share with you what I do to bring myself back to the present moment. This stuff is tried and tested and it really helps. So if you too have a case of the future trips, try out these hot tips...

+ Open your eyes: Personally, when I future trip, I am 100% percent stuck in my head. Often I find myself getting quite lost in the future world in my head. Life becomes one big daydream. When this happens I stop, open my eyes, and focus on something in my immediate environment. Start to actually look at what is around you and in front of you. We miss so much beauty and magic that is right in front of us when we are in our heads 

+ Make peace with where you are: Stop resisting it. Stop complaining about it. Stop noticing all the things wrong with it. Simply accept it. This is your reality in this moment. Make peace with it.

+ Remember, life is a journey: Yes, it sounds cliche but it is actually true. There is so much involved in the journey you are taking as you move towards what you want. Life is not purely about getting things. It is about who we become in the process. The reason things take time, is because we first need to go through the process of becoming the person we need to be in order to be able to handle what we are getting. 

+ Find the positives: When we are unhappy in a situation, the main reason is because we are focusing on all the things we do not like about it. I have no doubt that if there is an area of your life that you are wanting to change or move away from, you spend most of your time thinking about what is wrong with it, rather than what is right. True? So, start finding the positives. Start looking for what is great about where you are. Trust me, there are things. Search for them. The more you focus on the positives, the more positive your situation will become.

+ Learn a little patience:  In this day and age, we all want everything at the click of a finger. We are no longer prepared to wait. Patience, as a quality, is actually a beautiful skill to practice. The gift of being patient is that it makes you slow down. We are all so rushed these days. But having to wait for something, makes you stop. You are forced to stop and wait in a situation where you would normally trying to make things happen as fast as possible. Have a little faith in the divine timing that is going on, and practice a wee bit of patience.

So, over to you! I want to know...

+ What area of your life are you future tripping in?
+ What practices do you use to help you love your now?

PERFECT DAY TIP #1: BUILD YOUR MEDITATION MUSCLE

I don't know about you, but I am totally and utterly psyched for 2012. I think this is going to be a rocking year and I can definitely feel an electric energy in the air already.

For me, this is a year of many new beginnings. It is the year that I will be following my heart, letting go of what is familiar and embracing a life full of daring moments. I am stepping up and playing full out and I am willing to do whatever it takes to make my dreams a reality.

So, what does this mean for a life of perfect days? Well, I also have a lot planned for this little blog of mine, so watch this space! Firstly, if you have not yet noticed, the blog has undergone a new year makeover. I hope you enjoy the brighter colours and new layout.

This year, I will be bringing you a new energy, a fresh approach and more content, more frequently. You will still get your usual dose of inspiration + wisdom + tips for a wonderful life. But it will now come to you in some different and exciting ways.

You will also be hearing from other people, rather than just me. I have lined up a handful of fantastic contributors who will be bringing you inspiring and thought provoking content to help you make 2012 your best year yet.

So, here is your first sneak peak. This is my new series of posts which will become a regular segment on the blog: PERFECT DAY TIPS.

Seeing this blog is all about living a life of perfect days, I thought why not create a series of posts full of tips to create your most beautiful and perfect day. I will be sharing photos, advice, recommendations as well as practices that I use in my own life to make each day, the best day possible.

Some of these tips may resonate with you, and some may not. But each of them are there to be tried, tested and explored. They are practices that I know work for me, and that I hope will work for you too.

So, without further adieu, here is the first tip for you...

PERFECT DAY TIP #1: BUILD YOUR MEDITATION MUSCLE

A lot of people encounter a bit of a block when it comes to meditation. Many people feel that they cannot possibly sit still for even a few minutes. Or even if they can sit, they find it impossible to quiet or slow their mind enough to actually meditate.

Here is the deal: meditation is not about being perfect. It is simply about creating some time and space for yourself.

People also often wonder if they are doing it right. Or they say "how will I know that I am actually meditating?" Again, the point of meditation is not to adhere to any particular method and there is not right or wrong way.

THE PURPOSE OF MEDITATION IS TO:
+ Slow your mind
+ Reconnect with your body
+ Become aware of your breathing
+ Create quietness
+ Embrace stillness
+ Detach from your thoughts

HOW TO BUILD YOUR MEDITATION MUSCLE:
+ Practice: Simply start by making time to sit in quietness for 5 minutes each day. Some good times to do it are in the morning after you wake up or before bed. Do not worry if your mind is whirling at a thousand miles an hour. Just start by building the habit of sitting in stillness each day.
+ Use guided meditations: I love to use guided meditations with music and some audio as I find it easiest to slow my mind when I have something to focus on. I use Gabrielle Bernstein's meditations (see pic above) which you can download them here.
+ Focus on your breath: As you are meditating you will likely catch yourself getting caught up in your thoughts. If this happens just gently bring your attention back to your breathing. Put your attention on the sensation of air coming in and out of your nose, or of your belly moving in and out.
+ Gradually increase your time: Once you feel comfortable sitting for 5 minutes, try sitting for 10. Then once you a comfortable with 10, sit for 15. Like any new habit, it takes practice. But if you can persevere you will find that over time it will become much easier.

So, let me know how you go! I would love to hear your experiences. 

+ Do you have a regular meditation practice?
+ What methods/techniques do you use to help you?

NEW YEAR, NEW YOU!: 5 JUICY STEPS TO ACHIEVING YOUR 2012 GOALS

1. REFLECT 

If you have not yet had a chance to reflect on 2011, then I suggest to make yourself a cuppa, get comfy, and do it. Everybody has a different method that they use to reflect. Personally, I like to journal. Yet, some people would rather just review things in their mind. It is totally up to you how you do it, but it is definitely a must before you sit down to work on your new years goals.

Think back over 2011 and ask yourself these questions

+ What did I achieve?
+ What were the highlights?
+ What am I most proud of?
+ What is my biggest learning?
+ How did I grow and/or change?
+ What would I have done differently?
+ What did I not achieve in 2011, that I want to achieve in 2012?

This exercise not only makes you remember all the fantastic things you have experienced and created throughout the past year, but it also helps you get clarity on where you are now, and how you want to move forward from here.

2. SET S.M.A.R.T GOALS

I was having a conversation with my boyfriend the other day about our goals for 2012, and I realised something. I realised that not many people know how to really write a goal. You ability to achieve your goals will be compromised if you are not clear on how to set them.

I highly recommend you use the SMART Model when setting goals

Specific
Measurable
Action-oriented
Realistic
Time based

You also want to write the goal as if it has already happened


EXAMPLE:
A poorly written goal is: I want to lose weight

A SMART Goal is: It is now December 31st 2012 and I weigh 65 kg's. I perform half an hour of cardio training and half an hour of strength training 5 days per week, and I feel fantastic.

3. CREATE NEW RITUALS

I picked up this tip from watching a short clip on goal setting by Tony Robbins. You can check it out here.

Look at where you are now, and ask yourself 'What rituals (or habits) have got me to this place?" Then think about where you want to be, and ask yourself "What rituals or habits will get me there?"

You see, if you want different results, you are going to have to start doing things differently. Makes sense right?

Ponder these questions

+ What new habits do you need to create?
+ What habits do you need to let go of?
+ What do you need to do differently?
+ What rituals will take you where you want to go?
+ What rituals will take you away from where you want to go?


4. MAKE A VISION BOARD

A vision board can be created on a pinboard using photos, pictures or images from magazines. Or it can be done on your computer using a slide show of photos or images or using a program such as Picassa.

Rather than explaining the how to create one of these magical little tools, I thought you might like to see how these amazing ladies are doing it;

+ Jess Ainscough from Wellness Warrior gives an awesome step by step guide here

+ Denisse Duffield Thomas from Lucky Bitch explains it so well here 

+ Rachel Magahy from In Spaces Between has a beautiful example here

Then, once you have your vision board, place it in an area where you will see it daily. Repetition is key. Whenever you look at it imagine yourself living a life where all these dreams have already come true. Connect with the feeling of having it on a daily basis.

5. LET GO

Here is the clincher.

After working hard to create your goals, make your vision board and take lots of new actions, no doubt you will be wanting some return for all your efforts. But here is one thing you must find a way to do, and that is let go.

You have to loosen your grip on that outcome you want so desperately. You have to take a deep breath and relax about where you are. The more you watch and wait and become impatient about whether or not your results are coming, the more you are going to get in the way of their manifestation.

Instead cultivate a calm expectation. A knowing. A strong sense of belief that these dreams you desire are on their way to you. Know they are done.

When you set your goals with a sense of certainty, you can afford to wait for their manifestation, because it is not about IF they are coming. It is simply about WHEN.

So just chill out. Be light hearted and playful about it all. Love where you are now and enjoy all the fabulous things that are already great about you and your life. When you give off an energy of happiness and a feeling of already being complete, the Universe cannot help but bring you even more to make you feel happy about.

Now over to you...

In 2012, one of my goals is to connect with YOU, my reader, even more. So, I would love to hear from you.

+ What goals have you set for 2012?
+ What steps will you be taking to achieve them?

BREAK YOUR NEGATIVE FUNK: 8 STEPS TO POSITIVE CHANGE

Do you ever have moments where you feel a bit blah? Maybe these moments last for a whole day, or maybe they just come and go. Either way, when they happen, they are not much fun. 

I call this a negative funk. When I get in one, I feel stagnant and I lack inspiration. My usual upbeat, positive vibe seems out of reach. Instead, I feel zero motivation, and my mind just seems to go round and round on a negative loop.

What do you do when you fall in to a negative funk? Do you allow yourself to wallow in negativity until something outside of you changes to make you feel better? Or do you look inside to figure out what is going on and commit to doing something positive and proactive to turn it around?

When it comes to what I write on this blog, I practice what I preach. Everything I write here I use in my own life. I can honestly say that I used to be one of those people that would frequently experience these funks. And when I did, I would do very little to change it. I did not know then, what I know now - that I actually have the power and ability to change my state, and eliminate my negativity if I choose.

The Cause of Negative Funks
Over the years, I have found these negative funks are more likely to arise when I am getting comfortable. When I am feeling a little lazy, I allow life to just run on auto pilot for a while. I just go through the motions, follow my habits and react to situations as they arise.

In these instances, my unconscious mind takes over and begins to run the show. The danger with this, is that many things lie in your unconscious mind that you are not even aware of. They may be old outdated limited beliefs, fears, unsupportive habits and old behaviours from the past that no longer serve you. When you live like this, it is impossible for you to create amazing new experiences and opportunities. Instead, you become stuck in a total rut and life feels like it is playing like a broken record.

Living Consciously
So, here is the good news. In order to turn around your negative funk, all you have to do is the complete opposite. You have to become conscious. What does this mean? It means, making a choice! Living consciously means you choose how you want to live and you commit to making it that way.

Living Consciously =

• Consciously and deliberately choosing your thoughts
• Choosing to take actions that you know will serve you
• Choosing to create new habits that will take you where you want to go
• Being aware of what is going on in your mind
• Creating your life proactively, rather than just reacting to what is happening

How to Break Your Negative Funk!
You have the ability to break your funk, and it is as simple as choosing to become more conscious of what is going on in your head. There are also lots of practices that you can use in your life to break your funk. Here are some that I use, that will hopefully be of help to you too!

1. Make The Best Of It
I love the phrase in the photo above - Grow where you are. To me, it can be interpreted to mean, make the best of where you are. Right now, you may find yourself 'planted' in a crap job, a disempowering relationship, or with a small bank account. Rather than getting yourself all upset about how crap it is, why not focus on how you can grow. How an you make the best of where you are? How can you start to turn this around?

In order to move your life forward, you do not need to figure out how to change or fix all of the problems in your life. Instead, simply start by making the best of what you have got. Find ways to start to feel better about where you are. As your energy shifts inside you, the world you you experience it outside of you, will also begin to shift.

2. Ask the Right Questions
When I was contemplating signing up for my Life Coach training, what stopped me was the money. For many months, I worried about how I would manage to pay for it. All my focus was on the reasons why I could not afford it. Then one day, I came across an article about the power of your questions, and I realised I needed to make a change.

Instead of thinking about all the reasons why I could not afford the course, I began asking myself "How can I afford this course? and "How can I find the money for this training?" When I began to ask empowering questions, I began to receive empowering answers. Suddenly, all my concerns around paying for the course shifted. I started to get a lot of new ideas about how I could pay for the course, and I felt a calm sense of knowing that everything would work out perfectly. 

3. Be Willing To Change
It is one thing to want to change in theory, but unless you are willing to do the work, nothing will happen. You must be able to open your mind to new possibilities, be flexible in your approach and allow changes to unfold in your life.

When I want to make a shift in how I am living, I repeat the mantra "I am willing to change" everyday. I take it in to the shower with me, I repeat it as I stretch in my yoga poses, and I say it in my mind as I walk to work. You have to be willing to change the way that you are thinking about something in order for anything to shift.

4. Choose New Goals
I tend to get in to a bit of a slump when I have no real direction. I find that I just react to life, rather than deliberately creating intentionally. It is important to ensure you are always growing and challenging yourself. So, you must continue to set goals that stretch you and take you to new places.

When you are working towards a new goals, you mind is focused on something positive and constructive. You must keep yourself focused and determined. This mental state helps prevent negative funks, as you are optimistically looking towards your future achievements. if you do not currently have a list of compelling and exciting goals that you are working on, it might be a good idea to sit down and write some.

5. Journal Positivity
When I want to bring more positivity in to my life, I like to carry a journal with me at all times. Whenever something positive happens in my life, or I feel good about something, or I notice something awesome, or I find something to appreciate, I write it down.

This is an extremely powerfully tool. Not only does it shift your energy to a more positive place during the day, but you will find that you start to notice the positive things in your life more easily. I also recommend reading over it at the end of the day, to boost your positive energy vibe!

6. Create a Morning Routine
The way that you start your day, has a significant effect on how the rest of it unfolds. it is important to take time each morning, to tune yourself in to a positive state.

The way I spend my morning tends to change and vary, but it always involves me getting up before the sun rises. I know this is a challenge for some people, but it is one of the most beneficial habits you can create. At the moment, I use this morning time to exercise at the gym. I never thought I could exercise in the mornings, but I am now converted  and I absolutely love it.

At other times of my life, I have used this morning time to meditate, journal, set intentions for the day, review my goals and do a bit of visualisation. These practices set you up in a positive vibe for the day, and get you living consciously, deliberately and with purpose.


7. Think in Baby Steps
If you're sitting in a place of depression, anger or fear, it can be pretty hard to jump straight in to a place of joy, happiness and optimism. So, I suggest taking baby steps with your thinking.

Start by trying to think about the situation in a way which feels a little bit better that what you're thinking now. Then, add another positive thought, and then another. Add in thoughts of compassion, forgiveness, faith, love, abundance, peace, kindness and generosity. Allow yourself to get on a bit of a roll with your positive thoughts and gradually your energy will shift.

8. Ask for Guidance
Now, I am not religious, but in challenging times, I pray. I do not pray to God necessarily, nor do I beg for help. I simply talk to that higher part of me that often has all the answers. I sit quietly and I ask for guidance. I ask for support and assistance. Although this is quite a spiritual practice for me, it does not necessarily have to be. It is as simple as acknowledging that there is a greater power at play in our universe that has the ability to step in and guide us when we need it most.

ARE YOU BLOCKING YOUR HAPPY LIFE?

It seems everybody these days is on the search for the elusive happy life. I won't deny it. I am always looking for ways to become better, achieve more and create greater happiness.

The trick to remember, is that happiness starts in your mind. Do you know you can completely shift your level of happiness in the space of about 5 minutes by changing how you are thinking? Positive, loving, empowering and happy thoughts, create positive, loving, empowering and happy feelings in the body. Simple, right?

Very often the reason we are unhappy is not because crappy stuff is happening, but rather because we are thinking crappy thoughts. If we can work to pull out the weeds in our mind and clear out the negative thoughts, what we will be left with is happiness.

Happiness is our natural state until some yucky, low level thought comes along and blocks it. So, to experience more happiness, it makes sense that we identify what these happiness-stealing thoughts are, and then we work to turn them around.

Here are some of the common ways of thinking that I think block many of us from experiencing our natural state of happiness every day.

Mulling Over The Past
The past is over. Done. Finished. Complete. There is nothing you can do to change it now. So, unless you are sitting around reminiscing about the good old times, thinking about the past is a complete waste of your time and energy.

Do you ever replay past experiences over and over in your head? You may think 'if only' you had done it a different. You may analyse the past and search for what went wrong. Unless there are valuable lessons to be learned from these past experiences, you really just need to let them go.

Getting stuck in your head thinking about the past takes you out of this special, beautiful moment NOW. In life, you get what you think about. So, if you are thinking about past failures, past sucky relationships, past job stuff ups or past hurts, you are going to create them all over again in your future.

If you are one of those people whose life feels like a broken record and the same shit just seems to keep happening, it is probably because you are spending way too much thinking about this past stuff and in turn you are projecting it in to your future experiences.

Living in the past takes away from your powerful creative energy and drains you of your ability to create a fresh, blissful and fulfilling future.

Ignoring Your Inner Callings

One of the best ways to create a happy life, is to listen to what your heart calls you to do, and then do it.  I have no doubt you know what those things are that make you come alive. But perhaps you do not prioritise them or you do not think they are important.

Often we ignore that little voice that whispers to us. We often dismiss it. Maybe it is because we do not believe that what it tells us we can do, is really possible. Maybe it is because what it tells us we can have, seems to good to be true. Or maybe we have just lost faith in that little voice of intuition that often guides us to exactly what we need at any given moment.

Have you ever had a gut instinct about something, and rather than listening to it, you ignored it. Then what do you know, shit hits the fan. And you look back in hindsight and realise that listening to your inner nudges could have potentially prevented the pit fall? It happens to me all the time.

It can be hard to trust your intuition sometimes, especially when the voice of your rational mind is much louder. But by taking time to connect with yourself and learn what your heart wants for you, you can connect to your true source of happiness and move past what it is that has been blocking you.

Affirming The Bad Stuff
Every word you speak and every thought you think, is an affirmation. Yes, you heard me. Affirmations are not just motivational phrases stuck on your mirror. An affirmation is a statement to the Universe. It is a message that you are communicating about yourself. Every word and thought tells the Universe who you are and what you want to create in your life.

So, if this is the case, doesn't it make perfect sense to only say and think thoughts about what you DO want to create more of rather than what you don't? It is kind of obvious, yet that does not stop many of us telling anyone who will listen about all the things that we do not like about our life.

We may not even realise we are doing it. But each time you complain about the traffic, look in the mirror and criticise your body, bitch about your co-worker, feel crap about the amount of money in your bank account, you are sending a message to the Universe. Anytime you talk or think about something you do not like or do not want, the Universe is listening and is getting ready to bring you more of it.

Talking and thinking about what you do not want, will block anything that you do want or that you would like to experience from coming to you.

Playing Small
The reason we play small in life is because we do not believe in our selves. Why don't we set huge, scary, out-of-comfort-zone goals? Sometimes instead it is easier to take what we can get. Or maybe it is just easier to play it safe and do what you know. Either way, shrinking away from your dreams because you are scared or because you do not believe you can have them, is a sure fire way to sabotage your own happiness.

I think this amazing quote from Marianne Williamson sums up this point quite nicely...

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us, it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others"

Fretting Other People's Opinions
I think that many of us these days are living fake lives. Living life for other people. Doing the things that we think will win love and affection, rather than doing what we really want to be doing.

Sometimes you just have to go against the grain. You have to shut out the world, forget about what your parents want you do to and surrender the need to impress all your friends. You have to listen to your own voice. Your own inner calling.

It is impossible to be truly happy if you are living out someone else's dream. It is impossible to truly follow your heart, if you are concerned about what other people will think of you.

So, how about taking a risk? Why not be different? Find the courage to step out in to the world and march to the beat of your own drum. You never know, you might just find what it is that you have been looking for all along.

THE LOVE LIST

I recently stumbled across a document I wrote around 2 years ago, which I affectionately call my Love List. It is a list about all the things in life that I love to do, that bring me joy, that make me smile, that cause my heart to sing and that basically just make my day a happier one.

I wrote this list at the time that I was starting this blog as I was on a journey of exploring ways to bring more happiness in to my life. Rather than thinking about what I could get rid of from my life that I no longer liked or wanted, I instead thought, what can I add more of to my life to make it even better? The result, was my Love List.

This list is more than 5 pages long and lives in my beautiful A4 pink journal filled with pages of gorgeous recycled paper. I only write in this journal using grey lead pencil, and every word that gets printed in it is filled with beauty and love.  I love the journal, and writing in it is actually pastime that features on my Love List.

Looking back over the list now, I sadly realised that I have not been dedicating much time to any of my little loves lately. Instead life has been dominated by to do's, errands and obligations. Finding this list was a much needed wake up call to jump off the treadmill of life and start simply enjoying it.

Reviewing this list has helped me reconnect with the principle of life being a journey, not a destination. It has helped remind me that life is to be enjoyed, revelled in, savoured and experienced fully. This is about finding what YOU love, not following what other people love. It is about delving in to your little heart and listening to what it calls you to do. It is about loving yourself enough, that you would prioritise actions on your Love List, just like you would tasks on a to do list.

The items on your list can be as small or as big as you like. I often find it is the small, simple things that bring us that natural bubbly feeling of happiness. Often it is also just about taking a moment to appreciate those little things that may otherwise just pass you by.

My Love List
I want to give you a snippet of some of the items that feature on my Love List, as it will hopefully birth some inspiration in you to do the same.

Here are some of the highlights;

• A long run outdoors as the sun is rising
• Reading my favourite book in bed
• Shopping for food in health food stores (I love how they smell!)
• Reading beautiful blogs such as this, this and this 
• Random clothing creations, hand made on my sewing machine
• Organic mangoes and medjool dates
• Anything by candle light
• Random acts of kindness
• Waking up early before the sun and the birds
• Beach side holidays in the summertime
• Post-exercise buzz
• Reading the thoughts of inspirational people such as this, this and this
• Long, hot baths
• Blue, cloudless skies
• Beautiful conversations with friends
• Writing on this blog and receiving heart-warming comments from my readers
• Drinking loose leaf herbal tea out of china cups
• Words of inspiration from here and here
• Warm sunny weekends filled with market strolls and cafe breakfasts
• The feeling of Savasana pose after a long yoga class
• The smell of fresh coffee brewing
• Freestyle painting on canvas
• Attending inspiring events (such as this one) filled with amazing like-minded people
• Perusing second hand book stores
• Fresh flowers in glass vases
• Kisses with the one I love
• The Bronte to Bondi coastline
• Inspirational journeys of natural healing like this and this
• Making freshly pressed organic vegetable juice
• Sunsets of any description

It is easy to underestimate the power of these beautiful little joys. But isn't this what life is really about!

I encourage you to create your own Love List and review it daily. Revolve your day around it. Prioritise time to delve deeply in to the things in life that bring you joy.

xxx