There is a bit of a common theme in my blogging at the moment, and it is a pretty clear reflection of what is currently going on in the journey of my life. I am all about change! True, long lasting change. Transformation. Growth. Healing. Renewal. Change.
As a result, I am becoming increasingly fascinated by the HOW of change. After years of self help books, personal development seminars, and trying every tool and tip under the sun, I have come to the very root of what I believe creates change in our lives - it is our mind.
Now, this is not a new idea, and in fact it is something I have known for a long time now, but I am only really starting the grasp the real power of it. Quite simply, the only way to change anything in your life, is to first change your mind. Inner work = outside results. The outside world in a pure reflection of what is going on inside of us.
When I talk about what is going on inside of us, I mean your...
- Thoughts and Beliefs
- Feelings and Emotions
- Perceptions and Interpretations
- Stories
- Self talk
- Attention and Focus
This is what determines if you are rich or poor, happy or sad, loving life or hating it. We may think that it is the things in the outer world that determine whether we are living a good life or not, but that is not purely true. It is the way that we think and feel about those outside things that determines if we are happy or not. The only way to change anything in your life is to start changing those above mentioned things going on inside you.
As a bit of a catalyst to get you to start looking inside, rather than outside of you for ways to change, try pondering some of the questions below. Inner change comes from introspection and taking the time to get quiet and conscious about what is actually going on inside of you. You can either sit and think about these questions, or even get out a journal and just record the answers that come to you.
Pick an area of your life that is not working for you at the moment and look at the questions below. Refrain temporarily from trying to do something to change it. Don't try to fix the problem. Go inside yourself and ask how and why you are creating this in your life?
What are you thinking about this area?
- What thoughts do you have on a day to day basis about this area of your life?
- What do you believe to be true about this area?
- What are you believing about this that is supporting its presence in your life?
- What are you believing that is making change impossible?
- Do you believe that you can have what you want?
- What are some new beliefs you can start to take on to create change?
- If you didn't believe all these limiting things, who would you be?
- If you didn't believe these limiting thoughts anymore, what could you do?
How do you feel about this area?
- Are you living from a place of fear or a place of love in this area of your life?
- Do you frequently feel powerless, angry, fearful, frustrated, hurt or sad in this area?
- How can you shift your emotions so you feel better about this area of your life?
- What are some positive things happening in this area of your life that make you feel good when you think of them?
How are you perceiving this area?
- Do you tend to only see all the negatives in this area?
- Are you looking for all the things going wrong or all the things going right?
- What could possibly be some lessons you are learning from this current challenge?
- Can you see any positive or benefits to where you are now in this area of your life?
How are you speaking about this area?
- Start to pay attention to your self talk. Listen to the way you talk to yourself about this area of your life
- Are you only talking about all the things going wrong?
- Do you often complain to others about all the bad things about this area of your life?
- Are you speaking in loving and empowering ways or are you speaking in negative and critical ways?
- What are some positive things you can start to say to yourself and others about this area?
- Is your self talk supporting you to make the changes you want?
Who are you being in this area of your life?
- What type of person as you in this area?
- Are you acting as someone who has everything they want, and who is empowered and happy? Or are you acting as someone who is constantly struggling, feeling negative and dealing with problems?
- Choose who you want to be in this area of your life.
This exercise helps make you more present and mindful. It takes your attention off the outside world and brings it back to you. It helps you start to take 100% responsibility for your life.
This process can be hard, as it often suddenly makes you aware of a whole heap of thoughts that have just been running unconsciously on autopilot. It can be quite confronting when you start to become aware of them, especially when they are nasty limiting ones.
I have previously written some tips for how to create change from the inside out, and what it is that stops us when we attempt change, so feel free to check them out if you need more support.
Happy Changing!
I had a realisation last night. Something in my view of life has suddenly shifted. I have a new found clarity on why my life is the way it is and why I am who I am. I received a wonderful insight in to the power of stories and the stories we tell about our selves. I was so inspired I instantly pulled out my journal and began writing this post - a post on the power of love stories. Let me explain how this happened...
Last night, I went to the theatre here in Melbourne, and saw a play. It was a story of love, life and travel. It wasn't an overly profound play, but there was a magical moment in the story which triggered this wonderful realisation in me.
At one point a character reunites with friends in Greece that he has not seen in many years. He has changed from being a poor, uneducated refugee to a millionaire businessman. When the rest of the characters enquire as to what he did to change his life, he turns to face the crowd and in a loud determined voice he answers...
"You are the story that you tell about yourself. You have to start telling a new story"
When he spoke these words it was like a light turned on inside of me. These words resonated with some deep, inner knowing of the truth. I felt the actors words speak to me, and I heard the words echo in my head...
"You have to start telling a new story"
I suddenly realised that our life is really just a culmination of the stories that we tell. We tell stories about who we are and what is possible for us. We tell stories about people, places and events. When something happens we tell a story about it and give it meaning. We have the choice to interpret an event any way we want. All things are neutral until we start telling a story about what they mean.
The inspirational author and motivational speaker, Anthony Robbins teaches that "things do not have meaning, we assign meaning to everything... it is never the environment; it's never the events of our lives, but the meaning we attach to the events - how we interpret them - that shapes who we are today and who we'll become tomorrow"
Let's say you get up one morning and head to work. When you arrive your boss sits you down and tells you that you are being made redundant. You have lost your job. How would you respond? What meaning would you assign to this event and what story would you tell? Would you tell a story of fear, or a story of love?
Tell a love story
A wonderful woman by the name of Lilou Mace had just this happen to her. She got made redundant out of her management role in London during the global financial crisis. Rather than choosing to feel fearful and powerless, to tell a story that she would never find another job and to be scared about money, she decided to interpret this event differently. She saw it as a wonderful opportunity. For a long while she had been feeling unhappy in her job and had been secretly longing to pursue a career as an author, interviewer and teacher of the Law of Attraction. So, she decided to see this job loss as a blessing and an nudge from the universe for her to start persuing her dream career. She decided to track her progress of creating her dream job through a book called I Lost My Job and I Liked It. She later published that book and is now working as a writer and interviewer spreading the message of how we create our life through our thoughts.
She could have easily decided to tell a fearful and disempowering story about her job loss, but instead she told a story of love and passion and assigned a positive meaning to this event. As a result she created an amazing opportunity out of an event that most people would have seen as the end of the world.
Lilou told a love story. She believed that she was being supported and guided by the universe, that everything was happening for a reason and that she was being taken care of. She looked for the lesson and the blessing and that was what she found. She chose love over fear. As a result she now lives a life that is filled with everything she loves.
What story are you telling yourself?
What stories are you telling about your life? Whatever they are, make sure that you like them because they will become true for you. If you want to change an aspect of your life, all you have to do is start telling your self a new story about who you are.
You have to stop telling the story of how it is and how it has been and instead tell the story of how you want it to be.Your stories are a self-fulfilling prophecy. The quality of your stories determines the quality of your life. Your life is a direct reflection of your stories. You are who you think you are.
Stop telling stories about not being able to have what you want, or about how you never have enough money, or about not being able to find the perfect mate, or about all the things you dislike at work, or about all the things you don't like about certain people, or about how crap the weather is, or about all the bad things in the world, or about how your family annoy you, or about how you can never seem to lose that extra weight....
Start telling loving and empowering stories. Tell stories about all the things you love in your life, tell stories about all the things you like about the people in your life, or about all the money you do have, or about all the things that are great about your job, or about all the awesome things that are coming to you in the future, or about all the things are beautiful and perfect about your body, or about all the talents and skills you do have or about all the gorgeous things you see around you in your world. Tell a story of opportunity, hope, blessings, love, support, abundance and success.
Replace your fear stories with love stories. How do you know you are telling a fear story? You know by how you feel! When you feel depressed, unmotivated, sad, powerless, angry or scared it is likely you are telling yourself a nasty, negative fear story. When you tell love stories you feel inspired, light, happy, empowered, motivated, passionate and like anything is possible. Choose love over fear.
It is time for us all to wake up. It is time for each of us to start taking responsibility for the stories we are telling in our own lives. The Universe is sending us wake up calls and we must listen. Each of us are being called to start telling new stories about our selves and our lives, and new stories about what is possible. We must replace our fearful stories with stories of connection, peace, generosity, love, abundance, and joy. Through telling new loving stories about our selves, we will create new lives filled with love and joy and we will create a more loving and connected world.
When I was young I loved to draw, write, paint and dance. I was playful and lighthearted. I was creative and free spirited. I felt at ease in my skin and I expressed myself fully. I followed my heart and did what I pleased.
At some point in my life, this changed. I stopped listening to the whisper of my heart. Rather than following the call of that soft, intuitive voice that was directing me toward a life of inspiration, joy, love, passion and self expression, I began listening to a different voice. This was the voice of fear. It was logical and rational. Rather than inspiring me to follow my bliss it encouraged me to plan a route in life that would keep me safe inside my comfort zone. I became an over-analyser and a people pleaser. I was always thinking and I could not stop worrying. I always took the safest, most familiar route when making decisions. I sat inside the confines of the known. I ended up ignoring all the things I loved to do and replacing them with the things I thought I had to do.
This fearful voice is the voice of the rational mind or ego as it is sometimes called. Its purpose is to protect you. When you attempt something new, it brings up memories from past failures in order to ensure you do not do anything which could risk more failure. It keeps you in the restrains of your comfort zone where things are predictable and familiar. It will not urge you to do what will make you the happiest but rather it will work to prevent any damage to your ego. The voice of the mind is loud and over-bearing and often drowns out that soft, beautiful whisper of your heart and soul.
Our mind teaches us to be responsible, rational, sensible, safe, analytical, tactical, and to see the world as it is. Whereas our heart teaches us to leap in to the unknown with joy and love. The voice of your mind or ego disconnects you and makes you see others as separate and different. The energy of the heart opens you up and connects you with everyone and everything. Your mind will keep you stuck in an endless loop of analytical thought. The voice of love will encourage you let go and to grow and expand.
For years, I have been hearing the call of my hearts desire. It has been speaking to me endlessly through dashes of inspiration, moments of passion, fleeting feelings of joy or times of total excitement. Lately, I have been listening more closely to what my heart is saying to me, yet my mind has continuously talked me out of actually taking any action on this guidance. I tend to have a bit of a pattern that I repeat in my life. I often hear the whispers of my heart, but as soon as I begin to think about following this call, my mind jumps in with fear and prevents me from taking action.
When making a decision, you will often have both the voice of love and the voice of fear speaking to you at the same time. Which one do you usually listen to?
How to recognise the whisper of you heart
- The whisper of the heart is that little quiet voice that we often ignore or suppress
- It is always the voice of love
- The voice of your heart is supportive, encouraging and self-empowering
- It will encourage your growth and will lead you out of your comfort zone
- It may lead you into the new and unknown
- It will call you to express the highest vision that you hold of yourself and to become your very best
- It will feel like the happiest feeling thought
- You may get that feeling where your heart suddenly leaps with a feeling of excitement, joy, inspiration, love or passion
- It may feel lighthearted or playful
- You will feel open, free and connected
- It may tell you to let go of certain things that no longer serve you
- It may tell you to try a new path or go in a new direction
- It will call you to the best thing for your higher good always
- It will lead you to things that will make you feel more joy
